The Insanity of Love
by IPreferVerticallyChallenged
Summary: Imprinting is such an uncertain thing. For example, what happens if your imprint dies before you meet them? Do you never imprint on anyone? Are you alone for the rest of your life? Or do you imprint on the next best person who lives? An ExBxJ triangle.
1. Prologue

**AN:Okay, so this story starts off in Breaking Dawn when Bella was giving birth. I hope you enjoy.**

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

Prologue

**JAKE'S POV**

I pace back and forth nervously downstairs. _Damn it Bella!_ _Why? Why do you always have to be the one who ends up in trouble? _Bella can't hear me of course, but if silently ranting about it will make things a little easier on me, then, well, I'm gunna rant.

I can't even be up there with her because her and Edward wanted some _alone _time. Geez. Why do they need alone time anyways? It's not like Bella's in any shape to do anything other than say 'I love you' and they could very well do that in front of me. But no. I'm stuck downstairs. Alone with the rest of the Cullens. Waiting for them to say that it's alright for me to go upstairs.

I continue my pacing. _Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and- _Bella lets out a cry of pain and I jerk my head in her direction.

"Carlisle!" A panicked Edward yells from upstairs, "Something's wrong with Bella!"

In a flash Carlisle is gone from the living-room, assumably upstairs with Bella, and I follow as quickly as I can in my sluggish human form.

"-and-then-she-just-started-having-convulsions-and-I-can't-hear-the-baby's-thoughts-anymore-and-I-can't-get-Bella-to-calm-down-and-" Edwards words come in a nearly unintelligible rush, his eyes are wild and panicked.

"Calm down, Edward," Carlisle says soothingly, though I can see a hint of fear in his own eyes, "I'll get everything worked out."

"I can't hear the baby's thoughts!" Edward screams, "It's dying!"

Carlisle sucks in a deep breath, "Edward, I'm going to need you to get the baby out."

"No!" Rosalie screams from down the stairs. In a flash to quick for me to see, Carlisle closes the door and locks it. Rosalie begins banging loudly on the door.

"Well that's not gunna keep her out for very long," I mutter under my breath.

"Shouldn't you be doing this?!" Edward asks, panicked but he still picks up a scalpel.

"Not like that Edward," Carlisle says, "The membrane's too hard to cut with any of my tools."

"Then what.....?" he trails off and his hand flies to his mouth, "My _teeth_!? You want me to pull our baby out with my _teeth_?!"

The door breaks open and Rosalie steps in, "You're not taking the baby out with anything! Bella didn't want this."

"Rosalie," Carlisle says quietly, "The only chance we have of saving Bella or the baby is if Edward does this now."

"B-but....." she looks at the Carlisle's eyes and immediately back down, "Alright," she whispers. Then louder, "But you'd better save them."

"I'll try," he tells her. Then he says to Edward, "You need to begins soon, Edward."

_Oh, oh my God. H-he's gunna._ I feel myself shudder. _Maybe it would've been best if I'd stayed downstairs but......I don't want to leave her........._

As if Carlisle were the mind reader instead of Edward he turns back to me, "Maybe you should wait outside the door."

_Outside the door......I can do that. Not close enough that I have to watch Edward b-_ I flinch and continue along my train of thought. _But it's close enough that I'd be right here if there was a problem._

I follow Carlisle's advise and sit out in the hall. _I hope she'll be okay._

* * *

**Eh okay, I haven't read Breaking Dawn in a while, so please excuse me if I made a few little mistakes with the plot. I should get this updated......next weekend? Probably next weekend, but don't hold me to it.**


	2. Imprinting Can be Very Suckish

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

Chapter One

**JAKE'S POV**

My stomach does some fluttering thing as I wait for the monstrous operation to be done with.

This is it. Even if Bella manages to survive this, she'd be changed. Different. _Bella, Bella, Bella_, sorrow tares though my heart leaving giant ragged holes in my chest.

The pain is too much for me to bare. The world blurs around me. Noise fades to a low buzzing noise. I lean against the hall wall and close my eyes welcoming this strange relieving fog. _It doesn't really matter. If there's any real danger, Carlisle will have someone come get me_.

I let myself drift off, secure in the knowledge that someone will get my attention if anything goes wrong.

* * *

It may have been hours or it may have been seconds, all I know is one minute my mind was blank, and the next someone is shaking my shoulder.

"Jake?" A soft voice says.

I look up and see the little pixie above me, "Alice."

"It's Bella," Alice begins, "She-"

Without waiting for anything else, I jump up and rush into Bella's room.

Bella's face is a horrible shade of white. She looks even worse than she did before she started drinking blood for her little parasite baby. Her eyes are closed, and she keeps letting out small whimpering noises. But that's not the worst of it. Her stomach is ripped open, little pieces of her skin have been jaggedly ripped off and are strewn all over the place.

It barely even registers that Rosalie is in the corner of the room, dry-sobbing. A white sheet with a roughly baby sized lump in front of her.

Edward has his mouth pressed up against Bella's throat. He pulls back and I can see blood dripping from his lips. With a shudder, I turn my face from Edward and direct my gaze back towards Bella's face.

My vision tunnels, and everything around Bella blurs. Gravity shifts around me in a strange disorienting way. My stomach does several large flip-flops before everything stops turning and spinning. I know that the only one holding the crazy spinning world in place is Bella. A warmth grows in my chest along with feelings I'd never known before. If I'd thought I was helplessly in love with Bella before, it was nothing compared to what I feel now. Bella.

I moan softly under my breath. I can't possibly bring myself to regret imprinting, but why'd it have to happen _now_? After all that wishing that I'd imprint on her, all that trying to _make _her be the one for me, why did I have to pick _now_ to imprint on her? Now that she'd be a vampire. Now that she'd smell bad, and be my enemy, and drink blood. Why'd it have to be now when she was married?

I look over at Edward to see what he thinks of this whole situation, but he's too busy to be paying attention to my thoughts. He's got Bella's wrists to his mouth now, and I watch as he bites down on them one at a time.

Carlisle steps forward and gives Bella a shot.

"What's-" I begin, but Carlisle stops me before I can finish the question.

"It's morphine," he answers, "I'm hoping it'll ease the transformation a bit."

"S-so she's gunna be okay?" I shoot another glance at her stomach, but I quickly look away.

"At this point it's looking really well," Carlisle assures me, "Our venom is very strong."

I take a deep breath and force my gaze back to Bella's stomach. Their venom would have to be strong to fix something like that. I bring my gaze up higher to her chalk white face. _Bella, Bella, Bella._

Edward's head snaps in my direction, "The tone of your thoughts about her," he murmurs, "They've . . ."

So suddenly he's paying attention to my thoughts again? Should I try to keep the imprint a secret from him?

"Y-you imprinted on her? What?! When?"

So much for keeping it a secret. "Yeah. Just now when I came in."

"But isn't that only supposed to happen when you first meet the person? Are you sure?" he asks.

"Yes I'm sure," My voice sounds harsher than I mean it to be, but then, I'm angry at this whole situation. I show him the memory of a few moments ago.

"Great. Just great," he breathes.

"And you think I wanted to imprint on her now? When she's already chosen you?"

He shakes his head, "I just can't believe- why _now_?"

His words are so close to my thoughts from a few moments before, it's hard to believe that he wasn't listening in.

"I don't know," I answer. I pull up a chair and sit next to Bella's bed on the side opposite Edward. Bella is lying back, eyes closed. Perfectly motionless.

"Are transformations supposed to be like this?" I ask, nodding my head towards Bella.

Edward shakes his head, "No. There's usually a lot of screaming and thrashing. But this is the first time we've used morphine. It seems like it's working and she's not in any pain."

I'm glad she's not hurting. I reach out and grab her hand.

I expect Edward to stop me or say something, but he just sits on the edge of the bed and grabs her other hand.

"Three days?" I ask, making sure.

He nods.

_Three days._

And so the waiting begins.

* * *

Everything is silent for a few hours. Finally Edward mutters, "Seth is here."

"What's he want?" I ask, not really interested.

"He's checking to see if you're sleeping."

I hear the door open downstairs and heavy footsteps thud-thudding up to the room.

Seth walks into the room, smile on his face as usual, "Hey Jake! I-" he stops mid-sentence when he sees me sitting there holding on to a changing Bella's hand, but he recovers quickly, "I just came in to what was going on. Leah said to make sure you hadn't been eaten, but I'd figured you just went to sleep . . ." he pauses for a minute, studying me, "What _are_ you doing Jake?"

"I imprinted on her," I explain, looking down at Bella. She hasn't really changed much yet. Her hair is a little shinier maybe. And her skin is definitely paler, though I hadn't thought it _could _get any paler.

"Really?" Seth asks, eyes wide, "Well how do you and Edward plan on-" Seth stops and, in a completely out of character manner, swallows his curiosity, "So does this mean me and Leah have patrol alone now?"

"There's no reason to anymore," Edward says quietly, "T-the baby didn't make it. You can tell Sam there's nothing to fight over now."

"Oh," Seth says, "I'm so sorry."

"I-it's fine," Edward says, taking a shaky breath, "At least Bella's going to be fine."

"Now that we don't have to patrol anymore, what do we do?" Seth asks.

"Stay here, go home, go back to Sam, whatever. It doesn't matter Seth," I say.

"I'm not going back to Sam or rejoining his pack," Seth says vehemently, "They wanted to kill all of the Cullens!"

"So what _are_ you going to do?" I ask.

"I . . . I'll go home. But I want to come back in a few days to make sure that Bella was okay. Is that alright?"

I look at Edward. He shrugs. "It's fine with me," I say.

"Alright," he says he gives a smile and a little wave before disappearing out the door.

My stomach rumbles loudly. Edward looks up at me, "Go get something to eat Jacob."

"I'm fine," I assure with a sigh.

"Just grab something simple," he suggests, "Something you could eat quickly or bring upstairs with you."

I nod and get up quickly. I hurry down the stairs and into the kitchen; the faster I get my food, the faster I can get back. I spy a box of cereal sitting on the counter and I grab that, running back upstairs.

"Fast," Edward remarks as I take my chair besides Bella again.

I nod, "I didn't want to be away from her."

Edward sighs, "What _are_ we going to do?"

I blink at him, "About what?"

"About you imprinting!" he says, "What are we going to do?"

I shrug my shoulders, "Whatever Bella wants. I'm hoping this will make her like your idea of sharing better."

He looks at me curiously, "And what will you do if she still doesn't want you?"

I look down, "I-I'll be a good friend. It'd be hard for me to think of her only as a friend, but if that's what she wants, I'll manage."

His eyebrows pinch together, "And what would you do if she wanted nothing to do with you at all?"

I feel a lump form in my throat, "Why?! Do you think that's likely?! Did she say something? Did I do something wrong? What-"

"Shush," Edward says, "I have no idea what she'll choose. I'm talking hypothetically."

"Oh," I say as the panic fades, "Well if she didn't want me near her, I'd try to stay away, but I'd fail. I _imprinted _on her. That means I _have_ to be in her life. As a lover, a friend, a brother, it doesn't matter. But I have to be _something_ to her. If I'm not it'll hurt me. Bad."

"No offense toward you, but I'm hoping she leans towards 'friend'. Especially if you're a friend she only goes to visit once or twice a year."

I glare at him, but then I stop with a sigh, "I supposed I'd want the same thing if I were in your position."

"And you do a lot of things that I would do if I were in your position. Bella once said to me that if we'd ever stop fighting, she thought that you and me would be good friends, and you know what? I think she's right. I like you Jacob. You're someone that I could see as my friend. But that does _not _mean that I want to share Bella with you."

I look at him cautiously for a moment, "If Bella says she wants us both, you aren't gunna kill me or anything, are you?"

Edward blinks in surprise, "Of course not! If Bella wants you, I'll just have to deal with it."

I look at the deep dark purple bruise like shapes under his coal-black eyes. "You should feed," I tell him.

He makes a face at me, "I'm fine."

"I ate when you told me to," I say holding up the box of cereal and shaking it for effect, "Now I'm saying you need to eat."

"I don't want to leave her," he says, running a finger across Bella's cheek.

"Like I'm gunna let anything happen to her? She'll be fine," I assure him.

". . . Fine. But I'm not going to be far, and I'll be back soon. A half-hour at the most."

"Alright," I say.

He seems to disappear before my eyes. One minute he's standing there, and the next he isn't. Stupid bloodsucker.

I let out a sigh. It irritates me how he's so secure in her love. How he can know that she'll love him, how after this they'll be together. It bugs me that how he can be so secure when I'm so uncertain.

I look at the clock before letting out a groan. Four hours. It's only been four hours since Bella was bitten and I still have practically three days left to wait for Bella to tell me if she wants me or not.

I take Bella's hand with a sigh.

Waiting sucks.

* * *

Three days go by so slowly. I don't talk to anyone much except for when Edward makes me get something to eat or go to sleep. As soon as it gets close to the time Alice said Bella'd wake up at, I begin counting down the time. Two hours. An hour. A half hour. Fifteen minutes. Ten minutes.

Right after the ten minute mark, Edward breaks his usual silence, "You should probably go."

"Go?" I ask, "You've got to be joking! I'm not going anywhere."

"Bella's going to be waking up soon," Edward says as if that explained everything.

". . . So? I want to be here when she gets up," I say. Wasn't that the whole point of staying here this long.

"So, when Bella gets up she might be a little crazy. You smell pretty bad to us, but you _do_ have a heartbeat."

"You think Bella'll attack me when she wakes up?" I ask, looking down at her. I'd hate to admit it, but the transformation _had _made Bella even more beautiful then she'd ever been before. And even though I knew it was just the opposite, her new features made her look even more delacate and breakable. It was so hard to believe that anyone with a face as angelic as hers would attack me.

"I don't think she will," Edward says, "But it's better safe then sorry. She'll need to hunt right when she wakes up anyways."

"Fine, but right after she hunts, bring her to see me. The three of us need to have a talk."

"Alright . . . but Jake, don't expect too much, okay?"

"What do you mean?" I ask. Did he think that Bella wouldn't want me?

"No, it's not that," he says, "Newborns are a little, well, you've seen how they are. She isn't going to act like Bella for a while. It might be a year or two before she's back to the way she was before."

I stare at him.

"You should take a nap," he says, "I'll bring her back in an hour or two. We'll all talk after that."

"Sure, sure," I say absentmindedly.

I walk down the hall to the guest room in a daze, my mind bombarded with thoughts.

How is she going to react to me imprinting?

And more importantly, how different is Bella going to be?


	3. Decisions

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

Chapter Two

**EDWARD'S POV**

My emotions are in turmoil as I watch Jake leave the room. If I'm being honest with myself, I guess I'd have to say that my emotions have been messed up ever since I found out that Jake imprinted. . . . .No, that's still wrong. My emotions have been crazy ever since I first found out that Bella was pregnant. But they definitely became more confusing when Jake imprinted on Bella.

Jasper and Alice actually had to go stay at one of their local houses just to be away from my emotion. I feel bad about that. But they should be coming back over on account of Bella waking up today, any minute actually.

I let out a sigh as I look down at Bella. My beautiful Bella. A vampire. I love that she is the same as me. That she is my equal now. That I'll never have to worry about crushing her, or blood-lust getting in the way of kissing her, or of her getting sick, or of her growing old. But I now wasn't supposed to have to worry about Jacob anymore either! He was supposed to give up once I'd changed Bella, but now he's going to be even worse competition than before!

I know that one of the main reasons that Bella wouldn't choose Jacob over me was she was afraid that he would imprint on someone and leave her. But what would she choose now that that wasn't a possibility? Jacob talks of sharing, but what if Bella doesn't like that? What if she _chooses Jacob over me?!_

Jacob is so lucky; no matter what Bella decides, he'll still be in Bella's life, even if he's only a friend. But me, if Bella decides that she doesn't want to share and she picks him over me, I doubt she'll let me stick around. Not even to be a friend.

I shake my head. Bella is my wife, she nearly died to have my child, and she became a vampire to be with me. I shouldn't be worried at all, and yet I _am_. It's hard to keep that little seed of doubt from my mind. Hard to tell myself that there's no way that she'll leave me now, because I know that as much as she loves me, she loves him too.

I'm so lost in my thoughts, I don't even notice Alice and Jasper arrive until they enter the room.

_Edward tone it down,_ Jasper thinks, wincing slightly.

"Sorry," I mutter, "I'm just worried."

"She isn't going to leave you," Alice says, "Out of all the futures for her I see, there isn't a single one without you in it."

"What about Jake?" I ask.

"I don't know," Alice answers apologetically, "That decision isn't set; I won't see it until she wakes up and the three of you talk. But Bella's mind is already stubbornly set on one thing. She _will_ have you in her life."

"Thanks Alice," I say, feeling more at ease, "How much longer?" I ask.

_Any minute now_, her thoughts answer.

Almost on cue, Bella's heart rapidly picks up and her breathing turns ragged. "It's got to her heart," I murmur. The pace picks up even faster, her heart pumping nearly three times its normal rate. It begins to falter, to stumble over some of the beats. Th-th-thump th-thump th-. . . . Her heart stops altogether.

Bella sits up with a gasp, eyes wide.

"Bella," I say, throwing my arms around her. Finally, she's in my arms. Bella.

"Edward," she cries, pulling me closely to her, "Edward, what happened to the baby? Is he okay?"

I look down at the ground, "The baby- she didn't make it, Bella," I look up at her to see her expression better. Anguish spreads across her face, "No. NO!" she shakes her head back and forth.

"I-I'm so sorry, Bella," I say, pulling her back up against me. I stroke her hair gently as she sobs against my shoulder, "It's okay. It'll be okay. I'm here and we're together."

I jerk my head in Jasper's direction. He gets my unspoken message and starts sending waves of calm towards Bella.

I look down at her intently but her mind is as silent as usual. I let out a sigh.

"What? Why did you sigh?" She asks in between sobs, looking up at me.

"No reason," I say.

"Tell me," she insists.

"I just. . . . I'd hoped that I'd be able to hear your mind when you were a vampire. I'd hoped that our minds would be enough alike that I'd be able to relate to your mind better."

She lets out a surprised laugh at the same time that a sob bursts through her, resulting in a choking noise. She gives a weak smile as she looks up at me, "Nope. I'm as strange as ever." I take it as a good sign that her voice only breaks once as she says this, "I need a minute alone," she says, "Can you leave for just a moment?"

I place a kiss on her forehead, "I don't want to leave you alone until _after_ you've hunted, alright?"

"H-hunting?" she asks, gulping.

"It'll be fine," I assure her, "Just follow my lead." I walk to the edge of the room and open the window. I take a few steps back, and make a running leap outside.

* * *

Walking home from the hunt with Bella, going at a human pace so we can spend some alone time together, I can't seem to keep my eyes off of her. She just keeps proving to me again and again how all around amazing she is.

At first, I was a little distracted during Bella's hunt. I kept wondering what was going to happen; what Bella was going to choose to do about Jacob's imprint. I was so distracted that I didn't even notice a group of hikers camping in the area. But Bella did something really spectacular. She'd caught the scent, but _she stopped hunting and turned away_. It was such an amazing feat. Such a spectacular display of self-control. I'm not even sure _I_ would have been able to turn from the hikers' scents if I'd been in the middle of hunting as Bella had been.

Bella's self control took my mind off of Jacob for the whole rest of the hunt, but now as we walk together back towards home I feel the same uneasieness from before rise in my gut. Alice said she was _positive_ that Bella wouldn't leave me, so I'm not as afraid about that anymore. But I'm still not sure how I feel about sharing Bella with Jacob.

I hear Jacobs thoughts before I see him. _How much longer?_ he wonders, _How long does it take to hunt? _he shudders as he thinks the word 'hunt' and an image pops into his head of one of the non-vegetarian vampires that the pack had killed. The vampire had been a blond woman, blood dripped from her lips, matching the color of her eyes perfectly as she leaned over the corpse of a man who looked to be about in his early fourties.

Jacob shudders and pushes the image to the back of his mind.

"Bella," I say, "Jacob is waiting outside the house for us."

She blinks at me, "Jake? He's still here? Why?"

"He. . . feels the need to talk to you," I say, "He'll explain."

"Alright," she says uncertainly.

We walk for a few more moments before we finally reach Jacob. When he sees Bella, his eyes light up and a smile spreads across his face, "Hey, Bella!"

"Jake," she says with a smile, "Edward says you wanted to talk?" she makes it a question.

"Yeah," he says. _Thanks for not telling her, Edward_, he thinks, _I want to explain this to her myself_, "I want to talk kind of privately. Do you and Edward mind coming somewhere with me?"

"Sure," Bella agrees quickly, a smile nearly as bright as Jacob's spreading across her face.

"We shouldn't have to go far to get out of earshot from the family. Shall we go back to the forest?" I suggest.

"That's fine," Jacob says, "Which way?"

I lead us through the forest for a while before finding a nice open place far enough away from the house, "Is this okay?" I ask.

Jacob shrugs and sits down on the grass. Bella copies, so I quickly follow suit.

Jacob's thoughts race around in his head in a confused jumble while he wonders how to break things easily to Bella.

"So?" Bella asks cautiously, "What's this whole thing about?"

"I-uh. . . I imprinted."

"Oh!" Bella gasps in surprise, "On who?"

Jacob turns his face towards the ground, "O-on you."

"What?" Bella asks, "But how? When?"

"I don't know how or why. It just kinda happened," Jacob shifts uncomfortably, "I know that you're with Edward now, and that you aren't gunna leave him, but I wanted to bring up sharing again."

Bella just gapes at him for a moment, looking very much like a fish with her open gasping mouth.

"Bella, please says something," he says, looking at her intently.

Bella doesn't say anything for several more minutes, she just looks at the ground. Finally she looks back up at him and says, "I'm going to be honest with you here. I-I _do_ love you. I've cared about you from the beginning, but I was with Edward first. I _married _him, Jake. . . ." she hesitates for another moment, "I want to be with you both, but Edward is my husband; it has to be his decision."

Jacob looks to me in a pleading way. _Please, Edward. Please. I want to be with her. I _need_ her._

I let out a sigh and run my fingers through my hair. If I keep her to myself, I'll get more time with her. But Jacob would be crushed. If I share her, then everyone is happy, but I would have to _share_. I don't want to have to share. . . .If it were me. . . .If it were me in Jacob's position, and him in mine, I'd want him to share. I'd get down on my hands and knees if I had to and beg him to share her with me.

As soon as I think of it that way, think of how it could've been me in his position there's only one answer I can give: "I'm willing to share."

The very moment the words are through my lips, a giant grin spreads across Jacob's face. _Thank you! Thank you so much! _He then proceeds to hurl himself at Bella and shower her with kisses.

Watching another man kiss Bella is a lot harder than I thought it would be, but once I see Bella throw herself back, every bit as happy as Jacob I know that it's worth it. It's very worth it to see Bella so happy.

After a moment Bella pulls back from Jacob and crawls over to me, crawling up against my side, "Thank you Edward," she burries her smiling face up against my chest. Yes. Seeing her so happy is _definitely_ worth having to share.


	4. Why yes, Sam, I DO belong to a coven now

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

Chapter Three

**JAKE'S POV**

I sit there in the grass as I watch Bella crawl away from me and curl up beside Edward. I know that I shouldn't feel pain shoot through my chest as I watch.

It isn't fair for me to be upset that she's going to him. We agreed to share, and I just had my turn.

But _God_ I hate sharing.

Edward's not a bad guy. But watching her lay against him like that. I feel a small shudder ripple through me. She's looking up at Edward with stars in her eyes. But. . . . he's not looking at her. He's looking at _me_. He looks at me with sympathy in his eyes, and even though he doesn't say anything I understand that he felt the same thing when I was the one holding Bella and he was the one that had to watch.

She pulls back from him a bit, "What are we supposed to tell your family about this?" she asks.

"_Our_ family," Edward corrects, "Will support us as long as we're happy."

"You're sure?" she asks.

"Of course," he answers, placing a kiss on her forehead.

Pain shoots through me again as I watch the small exchange. _It could be worse_, I comfort myself, _At least they're not having a heavy make-out session or anything._ I shudder.

And then I remember that before she'd moved away from me to lay against Edward, _I'd _had a make-out session with her. Poor Edward. If he was having the same problems with this as I am. . . . .I shudder imagining how much _that _would've hurt. The corners of Edward's lips turn down and I know that he's listening in on my thoughts. _I'm sorry_, I think at him.

He nods slightly, letting me know that I'm forgiven.

Bella turns and looks at me, "Jake, what's going on with Sam? And with your pack?"

"I don't know," I answer truthfully, "I'll have to check that out later. I-I was kinda wanting to spend time with you first."

Edward's head snaps up, "I wanted to spend time with her first."

I let out a sigh, "Do you _have _to?"

"Yes, Jacob," he says firmly, "I _need_ to. After the past three days, I have to hold Bella in my arms. Have to have her near me."

_But I need her too_, I don't speak out loud, but I know he hears anyway.

"You should settle things with your family," Bella says. Her sincere expression looks odd on her face. Something about the red eyes, I think.

"Sure, sure," I say, "I probably should," I look jealously at Edward's arm wrapped tightly around her shoulder, "But. . . .I'd like to just sit by you for a few minutes first, alright?"

I'd assumed she'd come to me, but instead she motions at me to come sit beside her and Edward. I climb to my feet and walk beside them, sitting down where she'd motioned.

For a moment I just look at her. My Bella. . . .no. With her pressed so tightly against Edward's side, how can I says she's mine? She's me _and_ Edward's Bella.

She's so beautiful. I reach out and touch her face, letting my hands trace along the cheekbones, "How long do the eyes last?" I ask.

"Two or three months," Edward answers.

"Okay," I say nodding. A couple months isn't too bad.

They stare at me not saying anything for a moment. I let out a sigh, "You're both wanting me to go now, aren't you?"

"We need some alone time," Bella says apologetically, "But as soon as you're done with Sam. . . ."

"Then _we_ can have some alone time?" I ask.

She nods, giving me a smile that makes my heart clench.

"Alright," I say. I lean in and press a quick kiss against Bella's lips before pulling away, "I'll be back soon," I turn and run away from them.

Once I'm sure that I'm out of sight, I slip out of my clothes and set them in a place where I'll be able to find them again. I run to La Push, as fast as I can; the sooner I go, the sooner I can get back and have my time with Bella.

It doesn't take too long, five or ten minutes tops, before I'm at Sam's house. I always keep clothes through La Push. All the guys do. When you're constantly finding yourself butt naked and unable to go anywhere, you learn to keep clothes stashed around important places. So I've got a pair of sweats stowed away in the bushes behind Sam's place.

Shifting, I quickly pull the pants the pants on, before walking hesitantly to Sam's front door. I knock half-heartedly and wait.

It doesn't take him long to open the door. His eyebrows raise upon seeing me, "What are you doing here Jacob?" he asks, his voice cold.

"I'm sure Seth told you about everything that happened?" I ask, trying to keep my voice as cool as his.

At this his indifferent mask is shed and he looks at me with sympathy, "Yes. And I'm sorry for you Jake."

I feel a touch of anger at this, "Well I'm not so I don't see why you are!"

"You're happy?" he asks.

"Yes," I say simply.

"Then I'm glad you finally have that. Goodbye, Jacob," he makes a move to close the door, but I reach out and grab it before it can shut.

"What do you mean goodbye?!" I ask.

"Jake, you're bound to a _vampire_ I just-you can't be here Jake. You _can't_."

"Why not?" I growl, "Are you going to make me sign the treaty that the Cullens signed? You gunna kick me out of the place I was born because I found love?"

Sam runs his hands through his hair, "I don't know what to do Jake. You know me; do you think I _want_ you out of La Push? It's just that you can't be trusted anymore. You're loyalties switch over to your imprint, and I have no control over you anymore."

"So this is because I broke away from your command?" I ask, fighting the urge to shift, "You're going to kick me out of my home because I'm not your slave anymore? Is that it?"

"No Jake," he says hastily, "Of course not."

"Well that's what it sounds like to me," I say, my voice escalating, "I didn't know that you were so power hungry."

"I-It's not that Jake," he says, "You _must_ know it's not that."

"I don't know nothing," I say angrily, "Goodbye Sam."

"Aw, Jake!" he says, "Don't be like that."

But I don't listen, I run out the door and shift, not caring that it rips my clothes. I take off as fast as I can, feeling very shaky with all the emotions speeding around inside me. _Sam just can't _do_ that! I was born there, my family's there, my friends! He can't just leave me without a home._ I let out a forlorn howl as I run. _I need to hold Bella. If I can just get to her I'll be able to calm down._

I run to the Cullen's house as fast as I can, and find new clothes sitting outside for me on their porch, neatly folded.

I already have the clothes that I was wearing before I went to Sam's house hidden away, but I don't want to seem ungrateful or anything, so I pick up the clothes in my mouth and run over to the bushes.

I shift and pull the things out of the bag. Instead of Emmett's old clothes like last time, these clothes are exactly my size. Probably the fortune teller, _Alice,_ I correct myself mentally. It obviously wasn't the blonde, and Esme didn't seem like the kind of person who'd like shopping enough to be able to guess what size a person's clothes should be _exactly. _Unless that's some sort of a blood-su- I mean, a vampire thing.

After I'm properly clothed, I run to the house.

Edward and Bella step out the front door, surprising me, and I nearly run into them, "Hey," I say in greeting, feeling my crazy emotions from visiting Sam melt away.

"How did things go?" Bella asks brightly, obviously taking the smile on my face to be left over from what Sam said.

I sigh, "Not so good."

"What happened?" she asks, her tone sympathetic.

"He said he couldn't trust me; that my loyalties had shifted," I look down, remembering.

"He told you not to go back to La Push," Edward breathes.

"Yeah," I say. _Still homeless._

"That's not true," Edward says, placing a hand on my shoulder, "You'll always have a home with us, Jacob."

_Did you talk to your family about this yet?_ I ask.

"Well no," he says, "But they'll deal with it. Trust me. Everyone but Rose likes you well enough, and she didn't even like Bella for the longest time. Trust me, they'll welcome you to the family."

That reminds me of another thing Sam said to me. But that was back before I'd split from his pack. '_Do you belong to a _coven_ now?'_ he'd asked me.

"I'd understand if you wouldn't want to be," Edward says, answering my memories, "But you sort of _are _part of the coven. At least, if you want to be. You're part of our family now, you'll _always_ have a place with us. _We_ won't change our minds about you depending on who your friends are."

"That's really nice of you," I say, in surprise, "And yes I-I _do_ want to be a part of your family."

Bella smiles at me and pulls me into a hug, "I'm glad, but I don't like that you caring about me is keeping you away from your friends and your dad."

"It's fine, Bells," I assure, "_I_'m fine."

"Now," Edward says, "I think it's time for us to go see Bella's birthday present."

Bella frowns, "You don't start counting until a year _after_ birth."

"Silly Bella," Edward says, "Don't you know the date? It's September 13th."

Her eyes grow wide and horrified, "It doesn't count. I stopped aging two days ago! I never got any older."

He rolls his eyes at her, "Fine, don't think of it as a present for you then. It was really for the both of us. . . ." he looks over at me, "And I guess, Jacob now too."

That makes me curious, "What-"

"It's a surprise," Edward answers before I can finish my question.

"That's really-"

"Irritating?" Edward interrupts, grinning, "So I've been told," then the grin slides off his face and he goes back to being serious, "How fast can you run in your human form?" he asks me.

"Not very," I say, "If we're going very far, I'll have to shift."

"That's probably for the best," Edward says.

With a sigh, I move behind the closest tree and strip down before shifting. Picking the clothes back up in my mouth is a little hard, but I manage and walk back out to Bella and Edward.

"I can carry the clothes for you," Bella offers, holding out her hands.

I let them fall out of my mouth into her arms. _Thanks,_ I think, and Edward translates the message for me.

"Are you ready?" Edward asks.

_Yes,_ I answer.

"Good," And then he takes Bella's hand in his and begins running.

At first I'm jealous that he gets to hold her hand, but the run only lasts a few minutes, and Bella said that I'd get some time with her after I'd gotten back from talking with Sam.

When we get there, Bella suddenly stops, her mouth falling open, and I look to see what got her attention.

"Your family got us a _house_!" she asks.

"Do you like it?" he asks.

"I love it!" she says, hugging him, "We need to tell your family thank you."

He smiles, "And here I thought you'd throw a fit. If I'd known you'd respond like a normal person, I'd have had them here when you first saw it," he sighs, then moves on to his next thought, "Come on," he says, "Let's go inside," he opens the door for Bella, and holds it open for me, "There's a bathroom you can change in just down the hall. The door's open."

Bella puts my clothes back in my mouth for me, "Here."

I hurry as fast as I can through finding the bathroom, changing, and dressing. When I come back to the living room, Bella and Edward are in the middle of a conversation.

"-an hour or two. Then we have to go back to the house and talk to Alice about getting Jacob some clothes and preparing the spare room for him."

"Hey," Bella says in greeting, patting a spot on the couch by her, Edward is sitting on her other side.

"Hey," I return, sitting where she'd motioned, "So what's going on."

"I was just telling Bella that we shouldn't stay here for too long because we need to get some stuff set up for you soon."

I nod, "Again, thank you for inviting me into your family," _And for so much else. If you hadn't agreed to let me share Bella with you, I don't know where I'd be right now._

"No problem," he says, smiling at me. But then he sighs, "I-I'm going to give you guys some alone time now. I'll be back after a while. I'll make my entrance very loud so-um-you guys can-" he stops there, but we've got the picture. I'm sure if Bella wasn't a vampire she'd be blushing crimson right now.

"Thanks Edward," I say again. "Time with Bella and then talking to my new. . ._family_," I try the word out on my tongue. _Family. I've never had a big family before. I like it._


	5. Family

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

Chapter Four

**BELLA'S POV**

I watch Edward leave and feel a slight pain quiver in my heart. But that's nothing like the other gaping hole in my chest ever since I woke up and they told me that- I stop that train of thought. But things are good now, and Jake is sitting next to me. . ._Jake_.

I turn to him and smile. I really must be the luckiest girl in the world. Not only do I get Edward with all his perfection, his old world charm, and to be a part of his wonderful family, but I also get my Jacob. My fun, easy-going, sun-when-the-rest-of-the-world-is-dark Jacob.

Both of them.

I know it makes me incredibly greedy having two men. Two wonderful considerate men. But how could I ever break one of them by telling them I've chosen the other? It'd been different when I knew Jake couldn't be crushed by me. When I'd been sure that he'd imprint on someone else and forget about me. I already knew how much Edward, despite all reason, wanted and needed me and now that Jake is the same way, how could I only choose one?

But if I said that's the only reason I took both of them I'd be lying to myself. Part of the reason, a large part I might add, that I agreed to have both was I knew if I only had one, I'd miss the other terribly.

And with two wonderful men loving me, it's very selfish of me to be sad that-that-

Even in my mind I can't complete the thought.

Jake looks at me, "Bella. I know you're hurting. I can see it in your eyes. What's the matter?"

I stare at him, surprised at how well he can read me. It's almost as if _he _can read my mind even if Edward can't.

"I-I just. . .It's nothing."

"Bells," he says, looking intently at me, "Tell me."

I look down, "I'm just upset. Th-the baby. . . ."

He picks me up in his blazing arms and sets me on his lap, "Bella," he sounds as lost as I feel, "I'm not sure what to say to make this right. Just know that I'm here for you," he pauses, "And so is Edward. You'll get through this."

I begin dry-sobbing, and I curl up against his chest, "It's so selfish of me. I have you _and_ Edward. I get both of you. I shouldn't be so sad."

"It's perfectly normal," Jake says, rubbing small circles on my back, "Of course you're sad. But you're okay. You're safe. You're loved. I'm sure you'll be sad for a while, but we'll help you trough it and you'll be fine."

"Thanks Jake," I whisper.

He brushes a kiss over my forehead, "It's nothing."

I turn my face up to his so I can kiss his lips, "It was everything," I argue, "It means a lot to me. Thank you."

He smiles at me, "You're welcome, then."

I lie down on the couch and pull Jake down with me, feeling much better than I have since I woke up.

* * *

I don't know how long I lay on the couch with Jake, but eventually he sits up, "Do you hear that?" he asks.

I do. There are loud crunching noises.

"Edward," Jake says, "He said he'd be very loud coming back in case. . .well. . ."

I sit up beside him and rest my head against his shoulder, waiting.

In another few minutes Edward walks through the door. His smile makes me feel warm inside. I jump off the couch and throw myself into his arms, "Edward."

He kisses my cheek, "You stink, Love."

I stick my tongue out at him, "No, I smell alright. Jake smells just fine. I don't know what you and your family kept going on about."

"You don't think he stinks?" Edward asks, surprised.

"Of course not. He smells good. Woodsy. A little musky maybe, but all in all good."

Jake nods, "Bella smells good to me too. She's sweet, but not so much so that it burns my nose."

Edward's eyebrows rise, "Is it just an imprint thing then?"

Jake smiles, "Yeah, a really lucky one. It'd be horrible if me and Bella couldn't even stand near each other without being disgusted."

I shudder. It _would_ be truly horrible if Jake's nose crinkled up in disgust every time he was around me like I've seen him struggle, and fail, not to do in front of Edward since Edward said he didn't mind me having the both of them.

I wonder about that for a moment. Jake's obviously trying to be nicer to Edward now, if he's trying to hide his disgust at the smell. But what are his reasons? Is it only gratitude? Or are they finally starting to get along better?

"We should go," Edward says, "We need to explain things to the family and get Jacob's room set up."

Explain things to the family.

Nervousness twists a knot in my gut. How will Edward's- _our_ family react to the situation? Will they think I'm greedy? Will they be repulsed by the idea? And what will they think of Edward inviting Jake into the family? Will they be as welcoming as they were for me? Even if he is a werewolf?

"What's the matter?" Jake asks, perceptive as always.

"Nervous," I answer.

Edward wraps an arm around me and presses a kiss to my forehead, "Everything will be fine. I already talked with Alice when you were changing to see if she could tell what you would choose. I assume when even the most distant possibilities disappeared from our future she'll realize you're with both Jacob and I."

"What about the others?" I ask.

Edward smiles, "I can't be certain, but do you want me to guess?"

I nod.

"Carlisle and Esme will be very supportive, regardless of what they feel about the situation, as long as we're both happy. Jasper will be glad you're happy; he loves happy emotional climates. Rose probably won't like it. I'm not sure how difficult she will be. Knowing Emmett. . .he'll probably think it's funny."

"Wow," I breathe, "That actually sounds. . .very possible."

He grins his crooked smile, "I _am_ a mind-reader, Love."

"Showoff," I mumble and am rewarded with his musical laugh.

"Are we ready to go then?" he asks, looking at me. At my nod, "And you Jacob?"

I notice for the first time that Jake's in his wolf form; he must've shifted during the end of my panic. He lays his clothes at my feet and I pick it up for him.

"Good," he says, I assume in response to Jake's thoughts.

I put all of Jake's clothes in one hand, and take Edward's hand in the other before the three of us run back to Edward's-I mean, _our_ family.

Running is such a rush.

Now it's hard to believe I was ever afraid of running through the woods. The trees don't seem to whip by so quickly now. They're still going by unbelievably fast, but now I can see each individual vein in the trees leaves and each wrinkle in its bark as I run by.

And even though I'm going just as fast, or extremely close to, the speed that Edward ran with me when I was human, this isn't at all scary.

Now that there's no motion sickness from blurry trees or fear about dying if I crash, running is extremely fun.

Unfortunately, we go so fast that it only takes a few minutes for us to arrive at the Cullen's house and the nervousness kicks back in.

A nervousness that builds while Edward and I wait for Jake to shift and change back into his clothes.

When Jake is ready, the three of us go inside and open the door.

It seems the whole family was waiting for us to arrive; they're all standing right inside the front door.

Alice steps forward with a smile and wraps her pixie-like form around mine in a hug, "I'm happy for you." She says.

"I-uh, thank you."

She nods, "I can't see it of course, but I'm sure you'll be very happy."

"Will someone tell my _why_ Alice is happy for Bella?" Emmett asks, impatient.

I shuffle nervously on my feet.

Jake, seeming to understand that I'm too nervous to explain things, steps forward, "You know how I imprinted on Bella? Well. . .before, when Bella was pregnant, Edward wanted Bella to give up her baby so bad he suggested that I-uh" his already russet skin turns a few shades darker as he flushes with embarrassment, "That _I_ could give Bella a baby if she wanted one; that we could both have her if she wanted us both. Bella said no. . . but when I imprinted on Bella I brought up the topic again, and this time she agreed as long as it was alright with Edward."

For a moment the Cullens sit there, stunned. Then Emmett begins a deep, belly-laugh, "Bella you-" the laugh turns into a hysteric giggle, "are such a-" another giggle, "_player_!"

"I'm not a player," I mutter, mortified.

"You-you got two guys drooling over you," he erupts into laughter.

"It's not funny though," I murmur.

"Well," says Carlisle, seeming slightly taken aback by the whole situation, "Ah. . .welcome to the family Jacob."

"Thank you," Jake says nodding his head.

"So," Alice begins, "I saw myself buying furniture today. . .am I correct in assuming that we're going to have to set up a room for Jake in your new house?"

Edward nods, "You've bought it already?"

"Ordered it on-line. It should be here tomorrow," she says.

"Thank you," Jake says again.

"No problem," she answers, "I _like _shopping. Of course I'd rather buy clothes but. . ." her eyes light up, "You'll be needing those too! Yay! Welcome to the family Jake!"

He smiles at her, "You're. . .very excitable."

"That I am, that I am," she says, nodding solemnly, "Now, shopping! Will you come with me?! I know this awesome store in Port Angeles where I go all the time whenever Jasper needs something. It'sagreatstoreyou'lllikeitalotweshouldgothere!" her words are so fast I only get the gist of it and I'm supposed to be able to understand these things now that I'm a vampire. I'm not sure Jake understands the last part at all.

He shakes his head, "That's okay. I'd rather not."

"Please?" Alice begs, "It'd be more fun with you because I wouldn't be able to see what the clothes look like on you until you try them on!"

He still shakes his head, "No, I'd really rather stay here with Bella and Edward."

Alice pouts, "Fine," she perks back up instantly, "Oh well, I can still buy you stuff on my own. I'm going to go now," she pecks a kiss on Jasper's lips, "Bye, Jazz." And then she's out the door.

"Why'd you have to invite that mutt into our family?" Rosalie complains before leaving the room.

"Later we're going to have to fight and see who's strongest," Emmett says to Jake before following after Rose.

"Welcome," Jasper says simply before making his retreat.

"It's always nice to have another in the family," Esme says, "Especially people who eat; it's been nice to finally use the kitchen. I was afraid that that was going to stop now that Bella was changed."

"You say that now," Edward says, "Wait until you see how much he eats."

Jake whacks his arm playfully, "I don't eat _that_ much."

"Sure," Edward says, rolling his eyes, "Whatever you say."

I smile at the two of them, but they're too busy teasing each other to notice. _They're acting like brothers_. Nothing else could've made me happier. Sure, there are still problems to work through, I-I still _ache_ inside for my child and Jake still needs to make things right with his family, but suddenly in this moment I know we'll be alright; that no matter what happens, as long as we're together we'll be okay.


End file.
